


I'd Be Yours, If You'd Be Mine

by dawnofthedusk



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-21
Updated: 2013-02-21
Packaged: 2018-07-14 03:08:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7150604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dawnofthedusk/pseuds/dawnofthedusk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of how Lady Edith Crawley and Mr Evelyn Napier became friends and how both of them found something they hadn't been looking for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'd Be Yours, If You'd Be Mine

**Author's Note:**

> A note on the timeline: It begins in the midst of series 2, then jumps to after 3x08. Sorry if it’s confusing. There is some semblance of a ‘chapter break’.

The day Evelyn Napier came to convalesce at Downton, it was raining. The weather had been muggy all week and when Friday finally came, the thunder clouds rolled in and brought the rain. Edith was in the drawing room – or what had once been the drawing room. She was distributing books amongst the bedridden patients, checking names from her list as she went, scribbling notes beside their names of other books they may be in want of. She was on her way through to the library when her younger sister passed her.

"Mr Napier is here," Sybil smiled. Her arms were full of linen and her cheeks were slightly flushed. "He's very handsome, isn't he? I always thought so."

" _Evelyn_ Napier?" Edith halted her progress and her grip tightened on sheet of paper she held.

"Yes, he's come to convalesce here. Mama insisted on it – Mary said Papa even shouted at Doctor Clarkson."

Edith opened her mouth to comment but Sybil was called from the drawing room and left without another word. Edith slowly made her way into the library. This was not good at all. She could already feel her stomach twist uncomfortably. When she had written to the Turkish embassy all those years ago, she had been an angry and bitter girl. So much had changed since then and she couldn't bare to be seen that way anymore. Evelyn Napier knew what she had done and surely he would look down on her for it. Edith drew in a shaky breath before her name was called by one of the officers in the library. He was requesting a book and when Edith released the now crumpled piece of paper from her tightly squeezed hand, she saw that she had smudged the ink.  
  


* * *

   
To Edith's relief, Evelyn Napier did not join them for dinner as everyone had expected him to. She learned at he had been released from service after taking a bullet to the leg in France and his wound had later become infected. He was on the mend now but still had trouble with stairs.

"How awful…" Sybil murmured, taking a sip of her water. She was on duty at the hospital that evening and so was not drinking. Edith bobbed her head in agreement but otherwise remained silent, pushing her food around her plate.

Edith needn't have worried. She did not encounter Evelyn Napier during the first few weeks of his stay. She all but forgot he was a guest at all as he spent his time confined to his room. Until the third week of his stay, that was. It was the first real sunny day they had had in weeks and many of the officers were outside enjoying the fresh air. Edith was in the library sorting through the books that needed returning to their proper places on the shelves. She was up the ladder, her finger running along the spines of the volumes of text when the sound of her name made her jump and almost lose her footing.

"Lady Edith?" It was Evelyn Napier.

"Do forgive me, I didn't mean to startle you." In her surprise she had dropped one of the books. With a grimace, Evelyn stooped to retrieve it from the floor.

"Oh, Mr Napier, you just surprised me. I thought everyone was out enjoying the weather." Edith climbed down and took the book from him, clutching it to her chest in embarrassment.

"I would be but I fear the trip downstairs has exhausted me of my strength." He did look very pale, though he was dressed smarter than Edith had seen many of the officers.

"Won't you sit down? I could ring for some tea?" Edith offered, gesturing to one of the armchairs.

"Thank you." Evelyn nodded and shuffled over with his cane to the chair, which he sank into gratefully. When Edith had sent for tea she stood a little away from him, unsure of what to do.

"Please don't let me interrupt what you were doing," he managed to smile, nodding towards the books Edith was still clinging to.

"Oh!" Edith quickly returned the books to their shelves, her face burning as she felt his eyes on her.

"The men say you're the one to ask if I'm in need of any literature. One of them said I'd find you in here."

"Yes, I-I like to feel useful." Edith moved to another waiting pile of books just as Ethel the housemaid arrived with a tea tray. She placed the tray down on the small table beside Evelyn's chair, and when she left Edith began sorting through the books again.

"Won't you join me?" Evelyn gestured to the tray. Edith hesitated.

"Of course."

She sat in the chair opposite him stiffly, murmuring a thank you when he handed her a cup.

"Have you been well, Lady Edith?" He asked, the lines on his tired face stretching into what she thought was an attempt at a smile.

"I have, thank you." She couldn't understand it. Why was he being so pleasant? Did he not think her cruel? Some mad woman, hell bent on ruining her sister's life?

"Mr Napier, I have a confession." Her words tumbled out, earning her a taken aback look from the gentleman.

"Madam?"

"I confess that some years ago, I was the cause of some discomfort and perhaps embarrassment to you. You were blamed for something that I did and for that I am truly sorry. Both for what I did and for the misunderstanding it caused." Edith drew in a shaky breath, unable to meet his eyes.

"Are you referring to the misfortune that befell Kemal Pamuk?" Evelyn asked, his voice level.

"Yes." Edith whispered, shame colouring her cheeks.

"Then I must tell you that I hold no blame to you. It was many years ago and much has happened since then…"

Edith finally looked up to meet his eyes. His face was paler than ever and showed signs of fatigue, but his eyes were sincere.

"It was a wicked thing to do." Edith shook her head and tried to blink away the memories. She had thought it would make her feel better, to ruin Mary's reputation so she would no longer be the perfect sister everyone thought her to be. It had done nothing but knot Edith's stomach and the memory of it shamed Edith beyond words.

"You had your reasons for doing it, however misguided they seem now. You are older and wiser. What's done is done." Evelyn sat back in his chair, settling against the cushions.

"If you will excuse me, Mr Napier. I have some more errands to run." Edith excused herself in haste, leaving her tea untouched and Evelyn alone in the library. She made for her room and only released the breath she was holding when she was safely behind her door. The shame and embarrassment rose up within her like bile and she had to sit on her bed to calm herself before she could think of returning downstairs.  
  


* * *

  
Edith made a point of avoiding Evelyn Napier whenever possible after their encounter in the library. He did not come to meals in the dining room, even when he began to manage the stairs more easily. Cora insisted that he was their guest and was more than welcome to join them, but he stood firm on his belief that it would be unfair for the other recovering officers to see him eat with the family, apart from them, when he was expected to play cards and socialise with them throughout the rest of the day.

By the time Matthew was injured, Evelyn had all but made a full recovery. He thanked the Crawley's wholeheartedly for their hospitality and with that, he returned to London, and Edith never expected their paths to cross again.  
  


* * *

_  
She talked often with Tom. Of all of her family, it would have been Sybil who would have thought Edith's new path in life was something to be celebrated. But her sister was dead. Tom was the closest thing to Sybil she had now, and he had his own radical notions. It did her good to talk with him, knowing that he did not think her stupid. Instead he encouraged her; with her he discussed ideas and theories. She thought it was something of a relief for him too._

_Finally, her father and grandmother made one too many poorly veiled criticisms of her choices to work and she had left for London. That had been six months previously._  
  


* * *

   
The chill of January in the air was all the more biting after the warmth of the newspaper office. Edith clutched the collar of her coat closer around her and set off for the park – it was the quickest route home. She glanced up at the clouded over sky as she hurried along the path, fearing it would snow. Edith thought of her little flat as she walked and the warmth that would be waiting for her there. It was nothing special, comfortable enough to live in but nothing compared to the grandeur of Downton. Once upon a time she would have scoffed at the humble dwelling, pitying the poor creature who lived there. Oh how different she had been in her younger years. Her Aunt Rosamund had of course offered to have her stay with her in Eaton Square, but Edith had declined. She was determined to survive on her own. It had been difficult at first, but she was now earning a small and steady income. Her thoughts were interrupted rather suddenly when her name was called.

"Lady Edith?" She turned in surprise to see the last person she expected. Evelyn Napier was sitting on the park bench she had only just marched past and she had not even seen him.

"Oh, Mr Napier! What a pleasant surprise!" She doubled back to greet him. She hesitated when he did not rise, before sitting beside him.

"Forgive me," he sighed, noticing her apprehension. "It's my knee, you see. It gets stiff in the cold weather." It was only then she noticed the cane resting by his side.

"My doctor insists I exercise it every day." Edith didn't comment that he was not getting exercise sitting on a park bench all day. She only smiled.

"I was so very sorry to hear of your sister's passing." He told her gravely after a few more minutes of silence. Poor Sybil. She had been dead three years, yet Edith could still remember clearly seeing her draw her last breath.

"Thank you, Mr Napier." Edith bowed her head, turning her eyes towards the frozen over pond. She remembered the day he had come to convalesce at Downton and Sybil had called him handsome. Her heart clenched at the memory.

"Would you care to take a turn about the park? I must get this damned leg moving." He paused then apologised.

"Oh, you don't have to apologise to me." Edith knew how the war had changed the men who had survived – she had witnessed it first hand. She knew Matthew still had terrible nightmares – at least that is what Mary had told her once.

Thinking of Mary reminded Edith of the reason she had been so reluctant to see Evelyn Napier at all when he had come to convalesce at Downton all those years before. The incident with the Turkish Gentlemen. She knew that even after ten years, it was still the subject of gossip when fresh rumours were thin on the ground. He had of course eased her embarrassment when they had run in to one another at Downton, but it made her no less awkward around him.

Evelyn brought her attentions back when he cleared his throat. She was going to stammer an excuse, make up some errand that she had to run, but when she looked up at him his eyes were so wide. Edith was surprised to see he looked lonely.

"That would be lovely." She instead told him. He returned her smile and set about getting to his feet. He managed eventually and the two set off along the path slowly.

The conversation was light – they kept to topics such as the weather and their families. Edith told Evelyn of her niece Sybil and Mary and Matthew's son George, and the other child they had on the way. Evelyn spoke of his father and how he believed his father would outlive them all for he was still going strong at the age of seventy. Edith commented that she often felt the same about Grannie.

"And how is it you come to be in London, Lady Edith?" Evelyn asked as they circled the pond for a third time.

"Edith, please. And actually…I-I work in London now. I have a newspaper column at the Sketch." Edith told him, her cheeks flushing. Ordinarily she would have proudly told anyone she was a journalist, but Evelyn Napier was different. He knew who she had been, what she had done.

"Are you really?" Evelyn looked pleasantly surprised, and he smiled. "Well I hope to read some of your work." This brought a smile to her face as she saw that he was serious and not mocking her.

They continued until they had finished their third turn about the pond. Stopping, Evelyn opened his mouth to speak but hesitated, leaning on his cane for support.

"What is it?" Edith asked when she noticed he had gone silent.

"I wondered…if I might write to you?" He ventured. If Edith had not known better, she could have sworn he almost seemed nervous.

"To me?" Edith blinked several times in confusion. Why would Evelyn Napier wish to write to her?

"Would you prefer I did not?" He looked slightly deflated - she was sure she wasn't imagining it. There was a crease to his brow and his smile had fallen quite considerably.

"Of course not! I should like that very much." And she realised she meant it.  
  


* * *

  
Edith tried not to think about it too much – truly she did. But more often than she would care to admit, she found herself thinking of Evelyn Napier and his letters, wondering when the next would arrive in the morning post. She tried not to think about the letters he had written to Mary all those years ago, and what _they_ had meant. For now, Mr Napier was a friend – but he was a friend she kept secretly. In a recent telephone call with her Mama, Edith made no mention of her new acquaintance.

She and Evelyn wrote every other week and since their first encounter in the park, had met twice for a walk. They may have met in person more often had the weather permitted it. Throughout their growing acquaintance however, Edith could not bring herself to hope. In all honestly she had given up the idea of marriage or romance – after her disastrous courtship with Sir Anthony, her short lived affairs with John Drake and Peter Gordon – which only reminded her of her unexpressed love for Patrick, and then again with Michael Gregson. No. Evelyn Napier was a friend and nothing more. She would not allow her heart to run away from her this time.  
  


* * *

  
"Do you know, our walks are doing wonders for my knee." Evelyn mused one day as they strolled through the park. He had been using his cane less and less and now merely carried it out of habit. His knee still plagued him at times but there had been a definite improvement.

"It's astonishing to discover that doctors know what they're talking about, isn't it?" Edith teased. She had been in high spirits for weeks – something which had not escaped Evelyn's notice.

"Just what is it that's making you so cheerful?" He gave her a sly grin, stepping over a puddle from the previous day's storm.

"It's this time of year." Edith smiled, looking around her. "Everything is being reborn. It's a fresh start."

Spring _was_ beginning to bring the wildlife around them alive. Though the days were still chilly, there were no longer hard frosts that lasted for days. Flowers were beginning to bloom and life was returning to the trees again.

"Well it's wonderful to see," Evelyn chuckled. Edith returned his smile. She did not know if he was talking about spring or her being cheerful. She reminded herself not to think on it too much, for she knew where that would lead.

"My father is having a dinner party next Friday evening. Would you care to join us?" Evelyn asked after a few moments of comfortable silence. "It is likely to be dreadfully dull, but I hear one of the guests is a terrific singer when she has had a sherry or two."

Edith blinked in surprise. "Yes, thank you. That would be lovely!"

Evelyn smiled. "Excellent. I'll tell father. He's heard a lot about you and he's anxious to meet you."

Edith turned to look at the pond to hide the blush that had crept across her cheeks. _Stop it_ , she told herself. _He is your friend and nothing more._  
  


* * *

  
When the evening arrived, Edith was greeted with a warm welcome by Evelyn's father. He clasped her hand and smiled.

"I have heard a great many things about you, Lady Edith. I hear you have finally talked some sense into that son of mine and had him exercising that knee!" He cast a look towards his son. "I've been telling him since it happened that a bit of exercise was all he needed. Look at me, at my age! I take my walk every day and I'm as healthy as a horse!"

"Yes, father." Evelyn looked as though he were resisting the urge to roll his eyes at his father. Instead he shook his head and smiled at Edith, offering his arm as he led her through to the drawing room where other guests were sharing a drink before dinner.

"My father can't seem to grasp the concept of pre-dinner cocktails." Evelyn told her in a low voice as he handed her a glass.

Edith laughed. "He and Grannie would get along well."

"From what I've heard, they did! They shared many a dance in their day during the season."

Edith smiled, taking a sip of her drink. She cast her eye about the room but saw no one she recognised. Her mind then flickered to something Evelyn had mentioned on one of their walks.

"I wonder if we have time for you to show me that book?" Edith asked, her eyes bright with excitement. Evelyn glanced around and leaned closer, as if to conspire.

"We must slip away unnoticed. Come." He told her in a low voice, he took her drink and left it on a table with his own and then indicated for her to follow him. She did so and quietly they left the room again and made their way down the hallway to the library.

It was a small library, with dark panelled wood and a lingering smell of tobacco. But there was a fire crackling merrily in the hearth and there tall shelves were filled with handsome, leather bound books. Edith wandered, looking at the spines as Evelyn searched his desk for the book of poetry he had told her about earlier in the week.

Edith had stopped in front of a painted landscape and was admiring it when Evelyn approached her from behind and stood by her shoulder.

"It was my mother's favourite."

Edith found it curious how she did not jump, though the sudden sound of his voice had been a surprise.

"It's beautiful." She spoke quietly, in this small room it would have been out of place to speak at their usual volume, it felt secret somehow. Perhaps it was because there was a room full of people only just down the hall. Edith turned suddenly to him, to find his eyes already on her. She could easily have blamed the sudden flush that came over her on the fire, but that would have been a lie. Evelyn's eyes held hers intently and she felt her stomach swoop when he leaned closer.

The moment was lost when there came a cry from down the hall.

"Master Napier!"

Evelyn blinked and then the shout came again. He tore his eyes away from Edith and made for the door. When he was gone Edith released the breath she had been holding and placed a hand on the wall to steady herself. It was then she heard hurried voices filtering down the hallway. She slowly made her way out of the library, following the noise. It was there she saw Evelyn's father on the floor, surrounded by people, clutching his chest. He was struggling for breath and then there was Evelyn, calling for a doctor. Edith brought a hand to her mouth as a gasp escaped her lips. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out memories of a night three years before, when her younger sister had struggled to breathe and then had left them all forever.  
  


* * *

   
She went to the funeral. She watched Evelyn say his silent goodbyes to his father as they lowered him into the ground. It was at the wake she finally managed to grab a few moments of his time.

"Evelyn…I'm so sorry…" Her words were soft and in the small corner of the drawing room the stood in, she reached out to touch his arm briefly.

"Thank you for coming." He looked tired. The responsibility of running his father's estate had now fallen to him.

"I'm not sure I'll be able to join you for a walk this week." He gave her a weak smile which she returned.

"Just keep that knee working." Edith told him seriously, before they were interrupted by another man offering his condolences. Edith excused herself and decided she could stand it no longer and took her leave.  
  


* * *

  
The next few weeks were the quietest she had experienced since that cold January afternoon when she had encountered Evelyn Napier in the park. She was busy with her writing, having finally decided to begin a novel, as well as her work. Evelyn had written once to apologise for his lack of contact, explaining how difficult it had been to tie up legal loose ends involving his father. Mary had her baby, another boy, and had written with details about the christening. She wrote with the news to Evelyn, simply for something to write. She didn't receive a reply, but she didn't expect one.

It was raining lightly as Edith curled up under a blanket to read, the rain pattering softly on the window. It was the middle of the day and she had no where to be – it was a time she would often take a walk with Evelyn or, given the rain, they would have gone for lunch. It was several minutes before Edith realised she had not taken any notice of the words she was supposedly reading, instead her mind had strayed to Evelyn once more.

She shut the book with a snap, hoping to cut off thoughts of the gentleman with it. But then she remembered the night his father died, and how things might have turned out so differently. She was so _sure_ that in the few precious moments they had had in the library that he was going to kiss her. She could feel it in the way her chest ached.

 _Bravo, Edith. You've gone and done it again._ She thought bitterly. Falling for Evelyn had been easy though. She jumped at a sudden knock at the door. She got up from her chair by the window and opened the door cautiously, her face brightening in an instant upon seeing who had paid her a visit.

"Evelyn!" She beamed, opening the door wider to allow him entrance to her small flat. She might have been embarrassed by her modest accommodation once, but she was so happy to see him that she found she did not care. And apparently neither did he, given the smile upon his own face. An umbrella hung from his arm, the rain had made his hair damp and slightly dishevelled.

"I wondered if I we might take our usual walk? I have been a poor friend these past weeks and I feel I must make amends." He wrung his hands together in a nervous gesture.

Edith shook her head with a smile, "there is nothing to make amends for! One moment and I'll get my coat."

Ten minutes later she had taken his arm and they walked together under the umbrella, looking like any other couple to the rest of the world as they wandered through the park

"How have you been?" Edith asked as they passed a young boy being ushered along by his nanny to get out of the rain quickly.

"Busy, as might be able to tell." Evelyn sighed. "I've had a number of things to set in order but they are all in place now. Now it's just a matter of continuing what my father built."

"You'll do just fine, I'm sure!" Edith smiled.

"Edith…" Evelyn caught her attention by stopping. His eyes were serious and the sober set of his face was enough to make her smile falter. "I feel very lucky to have gotten to know you over the past months – you have been a wonderful support to me. You have been a wonderful friend."

Edith's free hand curled into a fist, so tight her knuckles went white. Her hard thumped against her ribcage painfully. _Friend_.

"You are a remarkable woman. You're shy, intelligent, kind, and beautiful." Evelyn smiled a little when she averted her gaze towards the pond and a blush crept into her cheeks. He took the hand that was loosely linked through his arm to reclaim her attention. "And I would consider it an honour if I could call you my wife."

Edith felt her heart slow as she remained frozen. Had she heard him correctly?

"Are you asking me to marry you?"

"You'll forgive me if I don't get down on one knee," Evelyn smiled, running his thumb across the knuckles of the hand still in his grasp. Edith stared at him, mouth agape, looking entirely unladylike. Her heart was telling her to say yes, without further delay, to say yes and shout it to the sky. But her head gave her pause. She remembered the last time she had agreed to marry – all she had been left with then was a broken heart and humiliation. She had not though Anthony Strallen was the type of gentleman to do such a thing – what made Evelyn Napier any different? It was all she could do to not pull her hand from his grip and run from any possible heartache. But that was just it; to be apart from him _would_ be a heartache.

Evelyn seemed to be growing more anxious the longer Edith remained in silence. His eyes were wide, his smile was gone. "Edith, I love you."

Edith remained silent a few moments.

"…I love you, too." She said quietly, admitting it aloud for the first time. Of course she loved him. "And my answer is yes. I will marry you. Of course I'll marry you!" Evelyn's face lit up, so much so Edith could not help in beaming back at him before he leaned in and pressed his lips gently to hers.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published on FF.net in February 2013.


End file.
